Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
