I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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