I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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