I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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