He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
should my penis look like a turkey
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
