i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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