I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
