I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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