woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize