either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize