He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
