Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
