He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Boobs speak an international language.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize