girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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