his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dicks are not precious.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
