Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
love makes seman taste better
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
