Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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