so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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