omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
