i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
