We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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