i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
