Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize