Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
