u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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