I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
