My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
are you so shy because you have an std?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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