theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
