she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
