All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
