If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
