oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
