I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
