you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
