just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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