Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
