he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
