just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
