Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
