why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
