can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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