You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
