My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
