oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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