I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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