this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
