OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
