I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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