i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
