Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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