Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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