His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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