I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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