Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
