U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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