I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
