I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
