We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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