She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
